Friday, October 16, 2009
Out of the blue...it hit me!
Earlier this evening, I was talking to my love and while he told me a cute story about himself as a little boy and as he was talked I thought to myself... I can't wait until our Little One does these kinds of cute things... then I the thought... wait, our Little One may not do these things...because they won't be just like either of us and just like that, I went from laughing to crying... out of the blue... a moment of mourning... in a sea of excitement and anticipation while we wait for our Little One...
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3 comments:
After talking to several parents of adopted children, I've learned that your child will learn all of your habits and may be more like you than even you want!
Renee, Thanks for your encouragement! I too have talked to many adoptive parents, who have said the same thing. This was more of a visual thing...so it was the physical aspect that I was thinking of. However, I have also heard that adopted children even end up "looking" like their adoptive parents since they end up copying their parents facial expressions.
Tammy, I understand exactly how you feel...I've had those moments too. But Renee is absolutely right...adopted chidren often end up "looking" a lot like their parents. So much is passed on through education, and not genetics!! But yes, you're right...some things are purely genetic, and we will never be able to look at our child and recognize certain physical features that they got from us! Nor will our child be able to look at us and see where they got their hair or eye color from. These are facts, and we won't love our child any less because they're not genetically related to us :0) Look at how many people willingly and knowingly choose to break their genetic ties and accept their step-parents or their adoptive parents over their biological parents!!
This is something that we as adoptive parents must deal with...this is what I think they call the grieving of the loss of the biological child. For me, it is a very long, on-going process...but I think it's important to go through this.
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