Wednesday, April 29, 2009


I've just heard about this great website...and I can't wait to write my own book!

All you have to do is download their free software...choose a background...add your photos and text...and away you go...I can think of so many ideas for books...I have a friend who's getting married...a sister-in-law who's spent the past year in Africa working with Medecins Sans Frontieres...a neice and a nephew who love books...some favorite recipes that I'd love to make into a personalized adoption journey book...our journey to you, Little one!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Six Months

So I'm told it's been six months since ICAB retained our candidacy to adopt. Notice that I'm somewhat oblivious to the specific passage in time. I've found it particularly interesting how the timing seems to be such a concern - I remember my wife pointing out nutters on the posting boards getting up in arms over comparing the timing of adoptions.
Now before you chuck your pro-biotic yoghurt/muslix at the screen... just hold on.
I get that in a nearly real sense this is like a gestation period for women and that this is ultimately the fulfilment of many years of a difficult emotional voyage. bon-bon c'est correcte... However I'm just saying that for me, time is zipping by - work is nuts - theres a growing list of stuff thats needs to happen around the house.
I've had a long standing sense that as far as taking care of a kid emotionally, spiritually and academically I'll be fine. The whole health thing is more of an issue to refer to mom/sister/wife who are either nurses of better informed... as long as food goes down and comes out the other way all systems are go to my mind. But the logistics are just enough to drown in... yikes.
So yeah I think that the time we have pre-kid is valuable and needs to be spent wisely - we need to talk about discipline - household management - is fixing the roof or getting a fenced in yard the bigger priority... all stuff that will become significantly more dificult to chat about when there's +1 in our mix.
So six months gone who knows how many more to go. Insha Allah, as they say.
Uncle Rikki signs off -a.k.a. Dad

Six months have passed and we're doing ok! The wait so far has not been as bad as I had expected it to be. We're keeping busy and I can now see that before we know it we'll be holding our Little One in our arms. I was sure that this wait would be excruciating, but so far, I'm doing ok and for that I am glad (as he stated above, my hubby knew he would be fine).
I picked up my Tagalog book again today...and ironically, I am starting to feel a little stressed that there won't be enough time for me to learn some Tagalog before we go!
As mentioned in previous posts, we have been doing a lot of reading and it seems like the more we learn, the more there is to learn, it can be overwhelming, but we'll just try to keep reading and learning as much as we can.
This blog has encouraged me through this part of our journey, it has been somewhat therapeutic to write about what is going on and where we're at in our journey, and it has the added benefit that family and friends (both old and new!) are both supportive and encouraging.
Tammy - a.k.a. Mom

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Little One's progress...part 2

I felt inspired today to do some work on the Little One's room, so I dug out my paint and paint brushes and headed upstairs...

I worked on the deciduous trees first, and then on the grass and flowers at the bottom of all the trees, I still have some work to do on the evergreens. The main project I worked on today was to paint the Hobbit Hole. Eric had drawn an outline on the wall, but I needed some inspiration, so I looked through his copy of The Hobbit and there were some great illustrations, that was all the inspiration I needed!

Here are the pictures of some of the trees and the Hobbit hole.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A little reviewing...

After my last post, I received a couple of questions that got me thinking about the books that I was reading, so I've written a little blurb about each one - just my thoughts...

Attaching in Adoption
One of the main concerns I have about our adoption is about attaching with our little one. My husband read Deborah Gray's Attaching in Adoption before I did, and since he knows me so well, he recommended that I only read certain chapters that are more relevant to our current situation, so that I don't stress myself out needlessly. Attaching in Adoption is an important resource book for every adoptive family, and it will stay in our Adoption Library.

Conquering Infertility
I must admit that when our social worker first recommended a book about conquering your infertility, I was a little confused. We'll be married for ten years this year and after undergoing infertility treatments; being diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome; and taking time to grieve the loss of the biological child we will not have; I can honestly say that at the point in time when the social worker recommeded this book, I felt that I had dealt with my infertility. I got the book anyway and began reading it anyway, and it helped me to see that, I had dealt with the main issues related to my infertility, which was reassuring since we're now on a different path. It also helped me to understand why I had behaved and/or reacted in certain ways in certain instances/situations. Although I wish I had read this book while I was first dealing with infertility, I am glad to have read it and to know for sure that we are in the right place and on the right path now.

Secret thoughts of an adoptive mother
This is one of my favorite books! I admire Jana Wolff's humour, candor, and honesty! Reading her book is a little like reading a friend's diary, in it, she openly shares her thoughts and fears regarding her adoption. Although the paths to our children are different (she chose open domestic adoption), her concerns about being an adoptive parent really resonated with me. While reading this book, I slowly began to feel that the feelings, and thoughts I have/am having are "normal", and for that I am grateful.

Becoming a family
This book had great information about healthy attachments. The chapter "bringing your baby home" has lots of great information that I plan to use to help us educate our family and friends about what to expect when our little one comes home. The author shares important information about the need for your child to be physically attached to you for the first while to help to promote healthy attachment.

The whole life adoption book
I'm only halfway through this book, but what I like is that it is full of practical ideas to help you through different situations with your child. It has some suggestions for educating family, friends, educators, and important people in your child's life. There is a summary at the end of each chapter as well as a list of questions for small groups (it would be nice to have a small group wouldn't it?!).

Labor of the heart
This book is another one - for the journey to adoption, It was one of my favorite books about working through the decisions to adopt and preparing to be a parent. At the end of each chapter, there is a section called "Adoptive Parents' Workbook" that encourages the parents to evaluate themselves based on the topic of the chapter.

So...there you have two cents...what are your favorite adoption related books?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

A little reading...

Books we're reading:
Attaching in Adoption - Deborah D. Gray
Conquering Infertility - Mind/body guide to enhancing fertility and coping with infertility - Alice D. Domar, Ph.D (this book was a suggestion by our social worker)
The whole life adoption book - Jayne E. Schooler & Thomas C. Atwood

Books we've read:
Becoming a Family - promoting healthy attachments with your adopted child - Lark Eshleman, Ph.D
Secret thoughts of an adoptive mother - Jana Wolff
Labor of the Heart - a parents guide to the decisions and emotions in adoption - Kathleen L. Whitten, Ph.D
Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew - Sherrie Eldridge

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Perfect Stroller?

We've begun our search for "The Perfect Stroller" however, I must admit that I wonder if it exists?

Eric is 6'2" while I am only 5'2"...usually if the stroller is comfortable for me to push...then Eric has to practically bend in two to push it, and if the stroller is comfortable for Eric then I feel like a little kid trying to push a shopping cart!

So far our favorite has been the Chicco Cortina Stroller. Our favorite feature is the adjustable handle! Can you believe it an a-d-j-u-s-t-a-b-l-e handle?! (watch the video here...yes...the website has videos on its website that show you how to operate the stroller!) We think the Chicco designers are geniuses! The price tag is a little too steep for us right now (we're trying to be thrifty) we've been doing a little "window"'s list...US stores...sales...even the Chicco store in Manila! I am learning to be pretty patient when it comes to hunting for a good bargain - and since we won't really need the stroller for another year or so - we have some time! We'll keep researching and hopefully find a GREAT deal!

What's your idea of the perfect stroller?

Monday, April 6, 2009

Five Months

Eric's belated bits... so five months since acceptance; 14 months since "officially" starting the proccess and like umpteen years since we decided together to go for kids...

And so here we are today: mortgage, backyard, dog and other overtly "western family" trappings... But I am realizing more and more that those things are not what will make our family a good family or succsessful by any sense of the word... The measure of our family greatness must clearly be - - - my superpowers...
- What you have superpowers ?? - Indeed I do, and the application of those to our family dynamics - dog walking, mowing the lawn and kid raising and wife caring will create an atmosphere of awesomeness unparalled in all modern suburbia.

Otherwise stuffs good
'till the next chicane

Another month closer to our little one!
Thankfully, time seems to be passing more quickly as the months go by. Looking back and realizing that it's been 14 months since we started the process makes me think that we'll have our little one in our arms before we know it!