Monday, April 27, 2009

Six Months

So I'm told it's been six months since ICAB retained our candidacy to adopt. Notice that I'm somewhat oblivious to the specific passage in time. I've found it particularly interesting how the timing seems to be such a concern - I remember my wife pointing out nutters on the posting boards getting up in arms over comparing the timing of adoptions.
Now before you chuck your pro-biotic yoghurt/muslix at the screen... just hold on.
I get that in a nearly real sense this is like a gestation period for women and that this is ultimately the fulfilment of many years of a difficult emotional voyage. bon-bon c'est correcte... However I'm just saying that for me, time is zipping by - work is nuts - theres a growing list of stuff thats needs to happen around the house.
I've had a long standing sense that as far as taking care of a kid emotionally, spiritually and academically I'll be fine. The whole health thing is more of an issue to refer to mom/sister/wife who are either nurses of better informed... as long as food goes down and comes out the other way all systems are go to my mind. But the logistics are just enough to drown in... yikes.
So yeah I think that the time we have pre-kid is valuable and needs to be spent wisely - we need to talk about discipline - household management - is fixing the roof or getting a fenced in yard the bigger priority... all stuff that will become significantly more dificult to chat about when there's +1 in our mix.
So six months gone who knows how many more to go. Insha Allah, as they say.
Uncle Rikki signs off -a.k.a. Dad

Six months have passed and we're doing ok! The wait so far has not been as bad as I had expected it to be. We're keeping busy and I can now see that before we know it we'll be holding our Little One in our arms. I was sure that this wait would be excruciating, but so far, I'm doing ok and for that I am glad (as he stated above, my hubby knew he would be fine).
I picked up my Tagalog book again today...and ironically, I am starting to feel a little stressed that there won't be enough time for me to learn some Tagalog before we go!
As mentioned in previous posts, we have been doing a lot of reading and it seems like the more we learn, the more there is to learn, it can be overwhelming, but we'll just try to keep reading and learning as much as we can.
This blog has encouraged me through this part of our journey, it has been somewhat therapeutic to write about what is going on and where we're at in our journey, and it has the added benefit that family and friends (both old and new!) are both supportive and encouraging.
Tammy - a.k.a. Mom


Amber said...

Yay! Congratulations on six months!
I'm so happy that the time is going by fast for you guys :0)

I really had to laugh while I was reading your guys sound so much like my husband and I! I recognize us in your comments.
My husband takes a very practical approach to adoption, like Eric seems to (thinking about the logistics involved)...while I take a more emotional approach, and worry or stress about things like attachment and learning Tagalog, reading books about adoption and then feeling overwhelmed Tammy describes! It's fun to read both of your perspectives :0)

Allison Family said...

I actually found that our wait time flew by...there was so much to do to keep us busy. The wait after referral is actually much harder so enjoy this time and keep busy. That was the best advice our social worker gave us...keep busy!

As far as learning Tagalog, we adopted a 5 year old boy and knew no Tagalog. My mind could not focus on everything that needed done and learning something new so we went there with no Tagalog. Our 11 year old biological daughter who came with us acutally knew more than we did. Everyone we came in contact with at the hotels, restaurants, orphanages, etc. knew English so travel/communication was easy. Our Filipino connections helped us with the words Jay-R said....we quickly learned the important bathroom words and elo (light) b/c he loved turning the hotel room lights on and off. He knew how to say "I love mommy, daddy" in English and "good morning" but that was it and somehow we managed and he continues to soak English in like a sponge.

I just found your blog the other day and love to follow others journeys who have adopted or are adopting from the Philippines. I find it encouraging, inspring, and I love the networking. I enjoyed reading both of your perspectives. We traveled in March and had a wonderful time in the Philippines. Our blog is:
I am looking forward to following your journey and can't wait until you receive a referral!

Allison Family said...

Sorry, I typed the wrong blog address... it is:

Allison Family said...

Sorry to bombard you with a bunch of comments...I just realized you already had our blog address and I read your comments on my blog.

To answer your questions about gifts...since our son is 5, I allowed him to pick some items from the store. Our adoption agency took us to a store with authentic Filipino handmade items. The Filipino hospitality was a bit overwhelming as someone followed us through the store with a basket and was encouraging Jay-R to place whatever he picked up in the basket. We spent over 7,000 peso and had no idea what we spent and my credit card would not go through. Finally it did and we realized we had spent around $150. As far as items, we purchased jewelry, wooden items (such as a small trinket to put money in), jeepneys to play with, wallet, trinkets to just sit on his desk, a photo frame, books, postcards, t-shirt, a set of Filipino coins...our son had picked up a rooster. We decided that for his 18 birthday he is getting the rooster with 100 pesos wrapped inside. We thought that would generate a good laugh! He has a great sense of humor. Hope that helps some. We also have the flag and jeepney from ICAB in his room now, a larger jeepney, and some other trinkets.

Renee and Brian said...

Congratulations on the six month mark. That is a big one. I totally agree that the time is flying by. It is scary to think that this year is almost half over! I don't know about trying to learn Tagalog. I am really terrible at learning new languages so I'll probably hold off on that one. Good luck to you though.

Jess & John deSouza said...

Hi Tammy! Awesome blog. 6 months WOW! Soon you'll "get the call"! I can't wait (neither can you I'm sure LOL!)...As for learning Tagalog...I did the very same thing wnet and bought books to "try" and learn the language, but it is SOOOOO different. Everyone we spoke to in the Philippines spoke English and the signs were all in English so we had no difficulties. What I did find useful was a book I bought about the culture. It just gave me more of an understanding about their customs and the way they do things. Just a thought! Jessica Rice :-)

Tam-A-Roo said...

Jessica! Thanks for your encouragement! We are trying to learn some words and key phrases, but we are being patient with is really just another way to help us to connect with our child at this point...once he or she comes along, we'll see what happens then! Thanks for letting me know that English is so common. I have travelled a bit, and it is overwhelming to be in a country where you don't understand the language you hear or see. I think I am spoiled from growing up bilingual!
Do you have a blog?

Bubbis said...

No I am not a blogger! I wish I was...I've written a journal since we started the process 3 years ago. Actually our laptop died on the wkend with the journal on it (my only copy!) I was petrified I had lost it but thankfully a friend was able to retrieve it. I think it's time I print it out!!! I will continue reading yours though! I'm sooo excited for you! :-)

emilie said...

I am just now getting the chance to read your older posts. I think it's great that you are trying to learn Tagalog. Like you said, you may not fully learn it, but it is one way to connect with a culture. I agree with Eric's perspective. The child-free time is valuable; but, 'nsha Allah, it will be time enjoyed and well-spent ...and short in duration.