We've finally made it to the eighteenth month! We're excited to know that we could get the call anytime now, however, we know that there are at least two families in Quebec who have been waiting for 26 months (2 months past the projected 18-24 month waiting times). We are hoping and praying that "the call" will come soon and while we wait, we're keeping busy...
In March, Tammy's grandmother fell ill and needed to have two rather risky angioplasty procedures. We're thankful that she is now recovering and is feeling much better.
Hobbes (our "puppy") had a small bump on his side that developed into a sore, following a visit to the vet and a biopsy, our vet informed us that it was a mastocytoma and had to be removed right away. Poor Hobbes had to have surgery to remove the tumour and left him with a 6" scar on his side! We've spent most of the past month nursing him back to health...tomorrow he goes to the vet to have his stitches removed! We received the report following the surgery and it said that all of the tumour was removed. We have to keep a close eye on his health, but he should be fine. Talk about a relief!
Eric had some holidays left over from last year that needed to be used up, so this past weekend, he had a 6 day weekend. While he was off, we decided that it would be a good time to begin working on mom's kitchen. So, in the last seven days, we took up the floating floor, discovered a carpet under the floating floor, took up the carpet, screwed down the subfloor, put in a new plywood floor, screwed in the new floor, put down the tile, and grouted the tile. I should mention that it was the first time we ever tried our hand at tiling... good thing that we had a good friend along to hold our hand through the process! We also decided that we should re-tile the entrance to mom's and the side entrance to our place (which meant removing the old cracked tiles - that's crazy big job). So as of tonight...the kitchen is tiled...and the entrances are ready for tiles! Poor Eric is going back to work and he didn't even have one day off! I guess he's going to go and "relax" at the office tomorrow ;)
Little One... we want to meet you so much... we are tired of waiting... we are anxious to know you and to love you and though we know that the timing will be perfect when you finally come home to us, the waiting is hard. We hope and pray that you are well cared for and most especially that you know that you are loved!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
April 18th...
Predictions...predictions...months back, some friends of ours predicted that we would get our proposal on April 18th. The fun thing about predictions is that they give you a deadline to look forward to, the unfun thing about predictions is that when the deadline passes, you feel a little let down. Oh well! The wait continues...
Saturday, March 27, 2010
17 Months
Gram-Gram (Tammy's Mom) is moving in today! We've been planning this day for a while now and it’s a little surreal that the day is actually here.
On the home front, this month was a continuation of last month - paint, paint and more paint! We are getting close to being done with the paint... but now we have a kitchen to install in Gram-Gram's suite.
Rachelle was home for a month and a bit and just this week left for a two month mission with MSF in Haiti. We got word yesterday that she arrived safely... is living in a tent... and is very very busy.
On the adoption front, there was a proposal this week in Quebec... it was the first since January, we're hopeful that more proposals will be on their way soon, however with the Easter Holiday coming up it may be mid-April before there’s another proposal... but you never know! As far as the wait goes, we have been so busy that the weeks and months are just flying by - which helps a lot! We are anxious to get The Call, and when the cell phone rings we often think... this could be it; however, we are conscious that there are some families from Quebec who have been waiting for more than 25 months at this point... so I guess you could say that we're cautiously optimistic.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
16 Months
Today marks 16 months of waiting for our Little One...will it be "Sweet 16?". We have been very busy this month so the month flew by! We moved at the beginning of February and we've been painting for the past month. We bought a great house...that needed a lot of paint!! We saw the size and layout and loved the house... and figured "well it's just paint", a month later and the painting is only about half done... We've received a ton of help from friends and family and are not sure how to repay them - maybe cookies (!?) The place is starting to look and feel more like our home...so that is nice!We have to start focusing now on setting up the basement for Tammy's mom who is moving in by April first. It will be an interesting change in our lives - but a very welcome one.
There weren't any proposals in Quebec in February :(
We're hoping and praying that our update will help our file get noticed and that we'll be getting our proposal really really really soon. We're keeping a level head about it though, we know that there are many couples who have been waiting longer than us, so we're starting to mentally prepare that we'll be waiting until at least the fall for our proposal.
The other big news in February was that Rachelle came home from the Philippines! She was there living in Mindanao for 6 months while working for Doctors without Borders. She loved it! She brought us home many stories about the Philippines, some travel tips and some dried Mango!!! Oh so Good!!
And so...back to painting...and waiting...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Update Completed
On Monday afternoon we received a call from youth protection to tell us that our update is completed and ready for pick up. I went to pick it up and I drove it directly to the Agency's office. The office was happy to see that our file didn't need to be translated! I'm glad to know that our update is now on its way to ICAB! We're ready! Little One....we're ready for you!
While we're waiting, we're settling in around here...doing more painting...most of the boxes have been unpacked...Once we're done upstairs...we'll move to painting the basement...Mom will be moving in before we know it! I think we may wait to decorate the Little One's room and the Playroom until after we receive the proposal...but you never know when the decorating bug will bite!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Waiting on others...
On January 31, we received notice that ICAB (Inter Country Adoption Board) in the Philippines requested an update for all families who were approved for adoption in 2008. So in the midst of trying to paint our new place so that it would be ready in time for the move on February 6th, we now had to do an update to our file with our social worker. We are actually pretty excited about the update, because there have been quite a few positive changes in our life over the past 15 months and we are excited to share them with ICAB. However, anytime there is paperwork to do...well...it takes time...the social worker...the youth protection office...the adoption agency...and finally...ICAB itself. It can be time consuming and exciting, but the waiting on others is the hardest part.
Monday, January 25, 2010
15 Months
Well, tomorrow marks the turning of another chapter in the story of our lives...15 months waiting for our Little One AND we get our new house! We're almost completely packed now...which was my goal...we wanted to have our house almost completely packed by tomorrow...so that in the next week and a bit we'll be focusing on the new place; cleaning; painting; and slowly moving in. We're pretty excited about going to the new place tomorrow, we actually bought the house back in August and we haven't seen the house since then. We do have some photos...but it's not quite the same!
We're excited about the move because we'll have more room and it will be a better home for our Little One, but we're sad that our Little One will never see the (first) room that we prepared for them. I have been having some trouble sleeping so the other night I slept in that room, and when I woke up in the morning, I was once again struck by how much I like waking up in the room. The other day Eric took a video of our house and hearing him talk about the Little One's room brought tears to my eyes...we'll prepare another room of course...but we're a little sentimental about this room.
In the past couple of months, there have been a few proposals and it is always exciting to hear that there are proposals in Quebec...I was especially happy to hear about the families who had been waiting for 23 months and finally received their proposals. And I have to admit that there was a point last week where I thought..."I hope we don't get the call this week because it'll be too crazy!" Talk about keeping yourself busy to keep yourself distracted from the adoption process! That moment was short lived though...don't worry...we are back to looking forward to getting the call! Oh and as far as their room goes...we're going to wait for now and once we receive our proposal...then we'll begin the room!
Monday, January 11, 2010
For you, Little One
We're packing...cleaning...organizing...did I mention packing? We began packing for the move, by packing up our Little One's room...it's amazing...they're not here yet...but they have lots of stuff already. We want to make sure that all of the boxes for the Little One are clearly marked...you know...just in case we get the call.
Many months ago I began a quilt for our Little One's crib...and thought that I would make a smaller version to send to our Little One when we get the call. Just to be sure the quilt would be ready, I took a break from packing one evening and finished the quilt!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Manigong Bagong Taon!
Happy New Year!
Here's hoping 2010 will be the year that we welcome our Little One home!
Here's hoping 2010 will be the year that we welcome our Little One home!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Things to remember to teach my child
I just found a link to another blog and loved the idea! I often think about things that I want to remember to teach my Little One, and I am afraid that I will forget about them once I am in the thick of it all...so here's a reminder...to myself...re-read this post...and make one of your own...to remember to teach your Little One.
Here's the link http://motleymoms.blogspot.com/2009/03/things-to-remember.html
...I copied it below...for quick reference...hmmm...now to write one for us and our Little One!
Jesus loves you.
Smile. Everyone is more lovely when they smile.
If you don't know the words to a song, just sing the word "watermelon" over and over. It will make your mouth look right. (Trust me.)
Don't feel you have to change or be different to be acceptable. You are just right.
If there are no paper towels to dry your hands on, just fix your hair a bit. It works every time.
Learn the secret whistle and use it to find me when you can't see me. (Note to self: teach children to whistle.)
Put off plucking your eyebrows, shaving your legs, and coloring your hair for as long as possible. Once you start, you can never stop.
Choose your attitude when you wake up every morning. Fake it if you have to.
Always carry 2 hankies, one for show and one for blow.
Hold hands.
Learn how to make a "specialty dish." Something complicated that you can cook perfectly. (Trust me on this one, you'll use it more than you think.)
Knowing how to make a cup out of a piece of paper is a life skill.You always have time to tell someone that you love them.
Tell stories.
Cut a pie in 7 pieces, thus creating the perfect-sized slice of pie.
If a member of the opposite sex is getting fresh and they don't understand the meaning of "no" then stick your finger down your throat and throw up on them. (This has never failed.)
Nothing you ever do will make me not love you.
Have people over, even if your house is messy and especially if it is dusty.
Sing songs. Silly, serious, off-tune. Sing loud. (And not only in the shower.)
Keep cut and serve cookies in your freezer for unexpected guests. (Plus, it makes it seem like you were just baking when they stopped by!)
It's always worth it to tell the truth. It's not always easy
Here's the link http://motleymoms.blogspot.com/2009/03/things-to-remember.html
...I copied it below...for quick reference...hmmm...now to write one for us and our Little One!
Jesus loves you.
Smile. Everyone is more lovely when they smile.
If you don't know the words to a song, just sing the word "watermelon" over and over. It will make your mouth look right. (Trust me.)
Don't feel you have to change or be different to be acceptable. You are just right.
If there are no paper towels to dry your hands on, just fix your hair a bit. It works every time.
Learn the secret whistle and use it to find me when you can't see me. (Note to self: teach children to whistle.)
Put off plucking your eyebrows, shaving your legs, and coloring your hair for as long as possible. Once you start, you can never stop.
Choose your attitude when you wake up every morning. Fake it if you have to.
Always carry 2 hankies, one for show and one for blow.
Hold hands.
Learn how to make a "specialty dish." Something complicated that you can cook perfectly. (Trust me on this one, you'll use it more than you think.)
Knowing how to make a cup out of a piece of paper is a life skill.You always have time to tell someone that you love them.
Tell stories.
Cut a pie in 7 pieces, thus creating the perfect-sized slice of pie.
If a member of the opposite sex is getting fresh and they don't understand the meaning of "no" then stick your finger down your throat and throw up on them. (This has never failed.)
Nothing you ever do will make me not love you.
Have people over, even if your house is messy and especially if it is dusty.
Sing songs. Silly, serious, off-tune. Sing loud. (And not only in the shower.)
Keep cut and serve cookies in your freezer for unexpected guests. (Plus, it makes it seem like you were just baking when they stopped by!)
It's always worth it to tell the truth. It's not always easy
Monday, December 28, 2009
14 Months
Merry Christmas...and Happy 14 months to us!This past month was an exciting and busy one for both of us, which was great because the month passed pretty quickly! Eric had to travel for work; first to Belfast, Ireland and then (only 36 hours after getting home) he travelled to Wichita, Kansas. I was very thankful that we were able to "chat" a little every day. On Christmas Eve, we hosted a small party for some of our family and friends. On Christmas day we went to my brother's in the morning and then we came home and had a small Christmas dinner with my mom, and Eric's parents and his brother. It was a small quiet family celebration.
House Update:
We sold our house! And we'll be moving in a little more than a month! This next month will probably also fly by...seeing as we'll be packing and planning our move and once we get the new place we'll be painting and settling in. We're really happy about the move. While we love our current home, it is a little small. The new place will have more living space and Gram-Gram will be living just downstairs! We're nostalgic about leaving this house...it is afterall the house where we planned on starting our family. We have already painted the Little One's room...we're a little sad to know that our Little One won't see it.
We sold our house! And we'll be moving in a little more than a month! This next month will probably also fly by...seeing as we'll be packing and planning our move and once we get the new place we'll be painting and settling in. We're really happy about the move. While we love our current home, it is a little small. The new place will have more living space and Gram-Gram will be living just downstairs! We're nostalgic about leaving this house...it is afterall the house where we planned on starting our family. We have already painted the Little One's room...we're a little sad to know that our Little One won't see it.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Christmas is just around the corner
Our Christmas preparations are in full swing; the tree is up (an extra special thank you to Gram-Gram...Thanks Mom!), there are lights in the window and the shopping is almost done. All that's left to do now is the rest of the baking...oh and the wrapping!
I love Christmas...spending time with family and friends...relaxing and celebrating!
Over the years, the Christmas season has at times been both joyful and depressing, fun-filled and stressful. There were some Christmases where we felt like we spent the day in the car for all of the visits we did; there were others where I was so sad I felt as though I wouldn't be able to make it through the day; and then there were others that were joy-filled and magical.
This year is special it may be our last as a couple...we have waited for so long to be parents...now I wonder if I will miss the relative calmness of our Christmases...and wonder how we will adjust to the relative craziness that is Christmas with children...whatever happens...we're looking forward to it!
I love Christmas...spending time with family and friends...relaxing and celebrating!
Over the years, the Christmas season has at times been both joyful and depressing, fun-filled and stressful. There were some Christmases where we felt like we spent the day in the car for all of the visits we did; there were others where I was so sad I felt as though I wouldn't be able to make it through the day; and then there were others that were joy-filled and magical.
This year is special it may be our last as a couple...we have waited for so long to be parents...now I wonder if I will miss the relative calmness of our Christmases...and wonder how we will adjust to the relative craziness that is Christmas with children...whatever happens...we're looking forward to it!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
13 Months
This past month has passed so slowly...I think the realization that we could get "THE CALL" soon has made everything feel more real...and it now seems that time is standing still.
This past weekend, we celebrated our 10th Wedding Anniversary by taking a trip with some friends to New Hampshire. We all got a jump start on our Christmas shopping...which is great!
House update:
As for the house...another area of our lives that's in limbo! Have I mentioned that I'm not very good at waiting and being patient? So far we have not been able to sell..the market in our area was very slow in September and October, and has been picking up since November, but so far, we haven't had any luck. We are somewhat discouraged about it; we would love to be able to move to a new home that would have more space for us, and where my mom would be close too, but so far it doesn't look like it will be happening anytime soon. We have begun to make plans to finish the basement in our current home, this will give us some additional living space, which will enable us to stay in this house a little while longer...we should know more in the new year...
As for the house...another area of our lives that's in limbo! Have I mentioned that I'm not very good at waiting and being patient? So far we have not been able to sell..the market in our area was very slow in September and October, and has been picking up since November, but so far, we haven't had any luck. We are somewhat discouraged about it; we would love to be able to move to a new home that would have more space for us, and where my mom would be close too, but so far it doesn't look like it will be happening anytime soon. We have begun to make plans to finish the basement in our current home, this will give us some additional living space, which will enable us to stay in this house a little while longer...we should know more in the new year...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Hero of the year
CNN announced the 2009 Hero of the Year...Efren Peñaflorida, from Manila, who started a "pushcart classroom" in the Philippines to bring education to poor children as an alternative to gang membership. Click here to read the entire article.
Efren Peñaflorida is the founder of the Dynamic Teen Company. His story is truly inspiring!
I'm looking forward to watching the show on Thursday (I've already set the timer!).
Efren Peñaflorida is the founder of the Dynamic Teen Company. His story is truly inspiring!
I'm looking forward to watching the show on Thursday (I've already set the timer!).
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Special Edition - side track
Eric here... So I've got a side topic from the adoption for you all in blogland.
On Nov 6th me and Tam were married for ten years... 10 years! So what does that mean? We got through the seven year itch... managed to keep the puppy alive for nearly three years now... went through a battery of psych tests and profiling all of which concluded we were mostly harmless and "normal".
But ten years sounds significant in and of itself - no? Each year we've been married has held it's share of highlights (and lowlights) and this tenth year will certainly have it's share. I guess the point is that I've learned this marriage I have is what I make of it and the circumstances of our life together do not define the relationship we have; merely give it its colour.
Alright cheese-ball blog entry over - as you were.
On Nov 6th me and Tam were married for ten years... 10 years! So what does that mean? We got through the seven year itch... managed to keep the puppy alive for nearly three years now... went through a battery of psych tests and profiling all of which concluded we were mostly harmless and "normal".
But ten years sounds significant in and of itself - no? Each year we've been married has held it's share of highlights (and lowlights) and this tenth year will certainly have it's share. I guess the point is that I've learned this marriage I have is what I make of it and the circumstances of our life together do not define the relationship we have; merely give it its colour.
Alright cheese-ball blog entry over - as you were.
Friday, November 6, 2009
10 Years
If you would have asked me on my wedding day when I would be having children, my response would have been..."A.S.A.P!" I always wanted to have children at a young age. I never thought that we'd be married for 10 years before having children, but then again, you never know what life is going to throw your way. In retrospect, I think it may be a good thing. We have had a chance to face some of life's greater challenges and we have come through them together and stronger and now as we look towards parenthood, I am confident that we'll be able to handle the challenges parenthood will bring.We plan on celebrating our anniversary sometime soon in the Philippines...I'm off to daydream a little of a white sandy beach by the crystal clear ocean...
Saturday, October 24, 2009
One Year Later...
31,556,926 seconds... 525,600 minutes... 8,760 hours... 365 days... 52 weeks... 1 year... waiting for our Little One! We're not too sure how we feel about it...earlier tonight we were talking to Rachelle (through the wonder's of Skype! - she's working for Doctor's without Borders in the Philippines) she said she feels like celebrating...and at the same time, she feels sad that it's only been a year. Ummm, yeah... that pretty much sums up how we've been feeling too!
We've been told to expect to wait for anywhere between 18 and 24 months...so we've basically completed at least half of our wait (we hope!). We do feel that the year has passed quickly though and so we'll keep doing what we're doing.
The adoption process can seem pretty surreal. We know that things are happening behind the scenes as we're waiting to be matched with our Little One, but on the surface nothing seems to be happening. And one day we're going to get the call that will change our lives forever! In many ways, it seems like that day will never come and yet when that day does come it's likely that we'll feel like we won't be ready!
We're hoping and praying that our file is going to be matched very soon, but we know that God is in control and his timing is perfect and so we know that when the time is right...we'll be getting that elusive phone call! In Quebec, there haven't been any proposal's since July so we're hoping that very soon there will be a bunch of proposal's. We're sure that the recent typhoon's have not helped at all, we have heard terrible stories and seen horrrible pictures about the devastation caused by the flooding. I had been thinking about the water damage, the humidity, and the mold...and Rachelle reminded us about the filth, garbage, the illnesses and the "disgusting" feet (from being immersed in the water for so long!). We have also heard that there has been damage at some of the orphanages and so we are praying that they would get the supplies and the help that they need and that all of the caregivers, their families and the Little Ones would be safe and secure.
Little One, we love you already and we cannot wait to meet you. Keep growing, be healthy and safe and mostly...know that you are loved! We pray for you, your parents, and your caregivers regularly. It will be very soon that your Mommy and Daddy will be coming to get you!
A quick update about our house... We haven't sold our house yet, but we have found a house that we would like to buy. If we sell this house before February then we'll be moving, and if we don't, well, we'll be doing some renovations to give our current home a little more living space and we'll be staying put. We'll be happy with either outcome...we just don't like all the waiting (doesn't that sound familiar?!)
image from comicvine.com
Friday, October 16, 2009
Out of the blue...it hit me!
Earlier this evening, I was talking to my love and while he told me a cute story about himself as a little boy and as he was talked I thought to myself... I can't wait until our Little One does these kinds of cute things... then I the thought... wait, our Little One may not do these things...because they won't be just like either of us and just like that, I went from laughing to crying... out of the blue... a moment of mourning... in a sea of excitement and anticipation while we wait for our Little One...
Monday, September 28, 2009
Eleven Months
I was just thinking about the past year; one year ago, we were in a rush to complete our adoption dossier. We were stressed about appointments with the social worker and the psychologist (who isn't?). We just wanted to have our file sent off to the Philippines; due to some unique circumstances, it took us nearly 8 months to put our dossier together; we just wanted our file to be sent.I never would have thought that "the wait" would have been so easy! Now don't get me wrong... I want to have my child with me now... I have been waiting a long time to become a mom. However, I have to say that one of the most surprising things for me about the wait has been the patience that I have regarding the whole situation. There was a time when I was almost certain that we would never adopt... that we would never have a child. I suppose the knowledge that we will become parents soon helps to make the wait easier. I still have days and moments where I think too much about our Little One and how they're not with us yet... I think about where they are and hope and pray for them that they are safe and most especially that they are loved. However, I can't dwell on the fact that our Little One is not with us, because that will only make me sad and I can't do anything about it, so I have determined that I will do what I can to get ready to be a good mom, and be as ready as possible for our Little One to come home to us.
Eric here: Summer is done and what a crazy one it was. Now I'm thinking the summer might have been tame with how the fall is shaping up...
The news just came in about tropical storm Ondoy... crazy times in Manila I hope that people can pull together and get themselves back on their feet fast.
Toodles for now
Rico
Toodles for now
Rico
Sunday, August 30, 2009
10 months
Another month has passed...we're one month closer to our Little One...knowing this makes us so happy...we just wish we knew how many more months there are to wait.
So this past month we've been having "fun" trying to sell our house and looking for a new one... We found a new one but selling our house has been a challenge. We'll try for a little longer - but if we don't get another serious offer soon we'll put our plan on hiatus (we don't really feel like moving in January).
For the past little bit, we've been helping some friends build a deck, well...actually the girls are building the deck and the guys are shopping and preparing the meals! Talk about learning experiences!
So this past month we've been having "fun" trying to sell our house and looking for a new one... We found a new one but selling our house has been a challenge. We'll try for a little longer - but if we don't get another serious offer soon we'll put our plan on hiatus (we don't really feel like moving in January).
For the past little bit, we've been helping some friends build a deck, well...actually the girls are building the deck and the guys are shopping and preparing the meals! Talk about learning experiences!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Nine Months
Nine months already...our baby should be here any day...WAIT...we're not ready...the room isn't finished, we don't have all the supplies...what are we going to do?! Just kidding! We're adopting...and that means that we probably have at least another nine months to wait...but that's ok, because if the second nine months passes as quickly as the first nine months, our Little One will be here before we know it.
We have been very busy this month...we had a mini "stay-cation". Eric had some time off of work and we decided that since we'll have an amazing vacation to the Philippines sometime in the next year or so, that we would stay close to home this year. We did enjoy a spa day in Mont-Tremblant, took care of some things at home, had dinner with some new friends and then drove to Burlington for a day trip. We have been contemplating a move. Its a big one...we're thinking of buying a new house that would give us more room and would have an apartment in it for my mom. Our house is for sale and we're playing the waiting game...while trying to remain patient. Have I mentioned before that I don't have much patience when it comes to waiting? So we're keeping busy cleaning the house and showing the house...and cleaning the house and showing the house...
We also spent an extra special week with our nephew and our niece. Since I'm not working for the moment, I was lucky enough to have a whole week with them. We went to Parc Safari, a children's museum, and a farm and we spent two days at home swimming in their pool. It was the first time we've been able to spend so much time with them and it was so fun...exhausting...but fun!
We have been very busy this month...we had a mini "stay-cation". Eric had some time off of work and we decided that since we'll have an amazing vacation to the Philippines sometime in the next year or so, that we would stay close to home this year. We did enjoy a spa day in Mont-Tremblant, took care of some things at home, had dinner with some new friends and then drove to Burlington for a day trip. We have been contemplating a move. Its a big one...we're thinking of buying a new house that would give us more room and would have an apartment in it for my mom. Our house is for sale and we're playing the waiting game...while trying to remain patient. Have I mentioned before that I don't have much patience when it comes to waiting? So we're keeping busy cleaning the house and showing the house...and cleaning the house and showing the house...
We also spent an extra special week with our nephew and our niece. Since I'm not working for the moment, I was lucky enough to have a whole week with them. We went to Parc Safari, a children's museum, and a farm and we spent two days at home swimming in their pool. It was the first time we've been able to spend so much time with them and it was so fun...exhausting...but fun!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Eight Months
Already eight months...hard to believe that it has passed so quickly and harder yet to think that we have another 10 or more to go!
This month we met some of our bloggy friends for coffee...they don't live in our area. It was so nice to meet them in person. It was interesting to talk about the various phases of adoption, and see how similar or different our experiences have been. I am looking forward to seeing them again soon. And I have been thinking of how great it will be when we can introduce our Little Ones to each other!
Eric's sister Rachelle who just came back home after a year of working with MSF in Africa, was offered a six month position in the Philippines again with MSF. She accepted and is leaving for the Philippines this weekend. We are proud of her and the work that she is doing to help people. The situation however brings with it, mixed emotions for me, while I am happy for her that she is doing something that she loves and is good for the world, I am sad too because I want to be getting on that plane to go to the Philippines. I was surprised by my reaction, and after some contemplation, I realized that going the Philippines means much more than getting on a plane, it has become symbolic - kind of like when a woman goes into labour, she is not just going to the hospital, she knows that this is it, she is going to see her baby very soon. Rachelle and I have talked about it, and she was very understanding, and now that we've talked about it, I am feeling better about it. I will miss her terribly... I always do... but we'll manage stay in touch... thank God for e-mail!
I started to work on the Little One's quilt this month. I have chosen the fabrics, blues, greens, yellows and brown. I have the top of the quilt finished and now have to think of the pattern I'll use for the back of the quilt.
That is all the news for this month...we're enjoying the beginning of our summer holidays and looking forward to spending time with family and friends from near and far this summer.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Shared Joy...
Tonight (or rather, this morning!) I am thankful for friends!
I had a get-together tonight with two special friends and it was so fun to talk a little about our adoption and to have them share our joy!
Thanks for your support and encouragement!! It means a lot...it is fun to dream of the day we'll pick up our Little One! It is also fun to hear others talk of their excitement about our adoption! I feel so blessed to know that our Little One is loved and highly anticipated, by our families and friends!
We can't wait to meet you, Little One!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Seven Months
We've been waiting for seven months! Time seems to be flying by! Well, at least it is for us right now anyway.
As far as our adoption process, not much has happened this past month. We have not done any more work on the Little One's room. I did sleep in there one night though...and it is a really pleasant room to wake up in! We haven't done much reading, just some articles and blogs on the internet.
We were pretty busy getting ready and participating in our friend's wedding. Jen is a great girl - honestly one of the nicest people you'll ever meet and Marty is a great guy too! The wedding was beautiful even though it poured rain all day! Imagine the puddles! Jen had a great attitude and kept saying...it doesn't matter if it rains...I'm getting married today...and it's "shower's of blessing"...the wedding was fun...how could it not be with six kids...that's right, I said six kids (under 8) in the bridal party! I wish them both a happy marriage (with lots of little ones!).
My sister-in-law (Eric's sister, Rachelle) came home! She is a nurse and took a one year sabbatical from work to join Doctors Without Borders (Medecins Sans Frontiers - MSF). She went to Africa where she worked on three different projects, one in Ethiopia, Central African Republic and Burundi. We are so proud of her and the work that she has done. She is an amazing person with a huge heart! The projects that she was working on were all nutrition oriented, the people didn't have enough food and MSF was there to make sure that the children were not dying of starvation. It is really difficult to hear her talk about the malnurished children.When she showed us her photos, I was reminded again that we have enough, even too much...and we sometimes take our food, clean water, home and health for granted. I'm glad that she is home safe and sound...because the areas that she was working in were not the safest.
My mom decided to get her driver's licence...she took the test to get her learner's permit and passed with 99%! Way to go mom! I am so proud of you...soon you'll be driving all over town and you'll wonder what took you so long!
So that is our little update for this month...looking forward to holding our Little One in our arms soon!
As far as our adoption process, not much has happened this past month. We have not done any more work on the Little One's room. I did sleep in there one night though...and it is a really pleasant room to wake up in! We haven't done much reading, just some articles and blogs on the internet.
We were pretty busy getting ready and participating in our friend's wedding. Jen is a great girl - honestly one of the nicest people you'll ever meet and Marty is a great guy too! The wedding was beautiful even though it poured rain all day! Imagine the puddles! Jen had a great attitude and kept saying...it doesn't matter if it rains...I'm getting married today...and it's "shower's of blessing"...the wedding was fun...how could it not be with six kids...that's right, I said six kids (under 8) in the bridal party! I wish them both a happy marriage (with lots of little ones!).
My sister-in-law (Eric's sister, Rachelle) came home! She is a nurse and took a one year sabbatical from work to join Doctors Without Borders (Medecins Sans Frontiers - MSF). She went to Africa where she worked on three different projects, one in Ethiopia, Central African Republic and Burundi. We are so proud of her and the work that she has done. She is an amazing person with a huge heart! The projects that she was working on were all nutrition oriented, the people didn't have enough food and MSF was there to make sure that the children were not dying of starvation. It is really difficult to hear her talk about the malnurished children.When she showed us her photos, I was reminded again that we have enough, even too much...and we sometimes take our food, clean water, home and health for granted. I'm glad that she is home safe and sound...because the areas that she was working in were not the safest.
My mom decided to get her driver's licence...she took the test to get her learner's permit and passed with 99%! Way to go mom! I am so proud of you...soon you'll be driving all over town and you'll wonder what took you so long!
So that is our little update for this month...looking forward to holding our Little One in our arms soon!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Dreaming of our turn...
This morning while reading some e-mails from our Agency's Adoption Forum, I came across a video about a couple who adopted from the Philippines. The report was done by TQS, on a show called 90 minutes de bonheur (90 minutes of happiness - what a great name for a tv show!).A husband and his mom wrote in to the tv show saying that they would like to surprise the wife/daughter-in-law by painting and decorating the baby's nursery. The couple had been waiting for their referral for some time, and they were feeling discouraged. The tv reporter and crew then surprised the unsuspecting wife with many surprises! It's a tear-jerker! Get your kleenex ready and click on the link below.
(for those of you who don't speak french...I post a translation in the comments...I don't want to ruin the surprises for those who want to watch the video - it's worth it to watch it)
...after watching the video...we are dreaming of our turn...when will we get the call...where will we be...what will our reactions be...how will we announce it to our families...so many happy things to think of today!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
I had a wonderful surprise today when my mom gave me flowers to celebrate that I am "expecting"... I cried, of course. Thanks Mom...
Today I have been thinking a lot of our Little One's mother. I know that she has had (or will have) to make difficult decisions, decisions that will affect her life and mine for the rest of our days. I will always be grateful for, what I can only imagine is, a huge sacrifice made for our child...
I am truly blessed to have a great mom... and I hope to be as good a mom to our children.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Blurb
I've just heard about this great website...and I can't wait to write my own book!
All you have to do is download their free software...choose a background...add your photos and text...and away you go...I can think of so many ideas for books...I have a friend who's getting married...a sister-in-law who's spent the past year in Africa working with Medecins Sans Frontieres...a neice and a nephew who love books...some favorite recipes that I'd love to make into a personalized cookbook...or...an adoption journey book...our journey to you, Little one!
All you have to do is download their free software...choose a background...add your photos and text...and away you go...I can think of so many ideas for books...I have a friend who's getting married...a sister-in-law who's spent the past year in Africa working with Medecins Sans Frontieres...a neice and a nephew who love books...some favorite recipes that I'd love to make into a personalized cookbook...or...an adoption journey book...our journey to you, Little one!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Six Months
So I'm told it's been six months since ICAB retained our candidacy to adopt. Notice that I'm somewhat oblivious to the specific passage in time. I've found it particularly interesting how the timing seems to be such a concern - I remember my wife pointing out nutters on the posting boards getting up in arms over comparing the timing of adoptions.
Now before you chuck your pro-biotic yoghurt/muslix at the screen... just hold on.
I get that in a nearly real sense this is like a gestation period for women and that this is ultimately the fulfilment of many years of a difficult emotional voyage. bon-bon c'est correcte... However I'm just saying that for me, time is zipping by - work is nuts - theres a growing list of stuff thats needs to happen around the house.
I've had a long standing sense that as far as taking care of a kid emotionally, spiritually and academically I'll be fine. The whole health thing is more of an issue to refer to mom/sister/wife who are either nurses of better informed... as long as food goes down and comes out the other way all systems are go to my mind. But the logistics are just enough to drown in... yikes.
So yeah I think that the time we have pre-kid is valuable and needs to be spent wisely - we need to talk about discipline - household management - is fixing the roof or getting a fenced in yard the bigger priority... all stuff that will become significantly more dificult to chat about when there's +1 in our mix.
So six months gone who knows how many more to go. Insha Allah, as they say.
Uncle Rikki signs off -a.k.a. Dad
Six months have passed and we're doing ok! The wait so far has not been as bad as I had expected it to be. We're keeping busy and I can now see that before we know it we'll be holding our Little One in our arms. I was sure that this wait would be excruciating, but so far, I'm doing ok and for that I am glad (as he stated above, my hubby knew he would be fine).
I picked up my Tagalog book again today...and ironically, I am starting to feel a little stressed that there won't be enough time for me to learn some Tagalog before we go!
As mentioned in previous posts, we have been doing a lot of reading and it seems like the more we learn, the more there is to learn, it can be overwhelming, but we'll just try to keep reading and learning as much as we can.
This blog has encouraged me through this part of our journey, it has been somewhat therapeutic to write about what is going on and where we're at in our journey, and it has the added benefit that family and friends (both old and new!) are both supportive and encouraging.
Tammy - a.k.a. Mom
Now before you chuck your pro-biotic yoghurt/muslix at the screen... just hold on.
I get that in a nearly real sense this is like a gestation period for women and that this is ultimately the fulfilment of many years of a difficult emotional voyage. bon-bon c'est correcte... However I'm just saying that for me, time is zipping by - work is nuts - theres a growing list of stuff thats needs to happen around the house.
I've had a long standing sense that as far as taking care of a kid emotionally, spiritually and academically I'll be fine. The whole health thing is more of an issue to refer to mom/sister/wife who are either nurses of better informed... as long as food goes down and comes out the other way all systems are go to my mind. But the logistics are just enough to drown in... yikes.
So yeah I think that the time we have pre-kid is valuable and needs to be spent wisely - we need to talk about discipline - household management - is fixing the roof or getting a fenced in yard the bigger priority... all stuff that will become significantly more dificult to chat about when there's +1 in our mix.
So six months gone who knows how many more to go. Insha Allah, as they say.
Uncle Rikki signs off -a.k.a. Dad
Six months have passed and we're doing ok! The wait so far has not been as bad as I had expected it to be. We're keeping busy and I can now see that before we know it we'll be holding our Little One in our arms. I was sure that this wait would be excruciating, but so far, I'm doing ok and for that I am glad (as he stated above, my hubby knew he would be fine).
I picked up my Tagalog book again today...and ironically, I am starting to feel a little stressed that there won't be enough time for me to learn some Tagalog before we go!
As mentioned in previous posts, we have been doing a lot of reading and it seems like the more we learn, the more there is to learn, it can be overwhelming, but we'll just try to keep reading and learning as much as we can.
This blog has encouraged me through this part of our journey, it has been somewhat therapeutic to write about what is going on and where we're at in our journey, and it has the added benefit that family and friends (both old and new!) are both supportive and encouraging.
Tammy - a.k.a. Mom
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Little One's Room...in progress...part 2
I felt inspired today to do some work on the Little One's room, so I dug out my paint and paint brushes and headed upstairs...
I worked on the deciduous trees first, and then on the grass and flowers at the bottom of all the trees, I still have some work to do on the evergreens. The main project I worked on today was to paint the Hobbit Hole. Eric had drawn an outline on the wall, but I needed some inspiration, so I looked through his copy of The Hobbit and there were some great illustrations, that was all the inspiration I needed!
Here are the pictures of some of the trees and the Hobbit hole.
I worked on the deciduous trees first, and then on the grass and flowers at the bottom of all the trees, I still have some work to do on the evergreens. The main project I worked on today was to paint the Hobbit Hole. Eric had drawn an outline on the wall, but I needed some inspiration, so I looked through his copy of The Hobbit and there were some great illustrations, that was all the inspiration I needed!
Here are the pictures of some of the trees and the Hobbit hole.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
A little reviewing...
After my last post, I received a couple of questions that got me thinking about the books that I was reading, so I've written a little blurb about each one - just my thoughts...
Attaching in Adoption
One of the main concerns I have about our adoption is about attaching with our little one. My husband read Deborah Gray's Attaching in Adoption before I did, and since he knows me so well, he recommended that I only read certain chapters that are more relevant to our current situation, so that I don't stress myself out needlessly. Attaching in Adoption is an important resource book for every adoptive family, and it will stay in our Adoption Library.
Conquering Infertility
I must admit that when our social worker first recommended a book about conquering your infertility, I was a little confused. We'll be married for ten years this year and after undergoing infertility treatments; being diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome; and taking time to grieve the loss of the biological child we will not have; I can honestly say that at the point in time when the social worker recommeded this book, I felt that I had dealt with my infertility. I got the book anyway and began reading it anyway, and it helped me to see that, I had dealt with the main issues related to my infertility, which was reassuring since we're now on a different path. It also helped me to understand why I had behaved and/or reacted in certain ways in certain instances/situations. Although I wish I had read this book while I was first dealing with infertility, I am glad to have read it and to know for sure that we are in the right place and on the right path now.
Secret thoughts of an adoptive mother
This is one of my favorite books! I admire Jana Wolff's humour, candor, and honesty! Reading her book is a little like reading a friend's diary, in it, she openly shares her thoughts and fears regarding her adoption. Although the paths to our children are different (she chose open domestic adoption), her concerns about being an adoptive parent really resonated with me. While reading this book, I slowly began to feel that the feelings, and thoughts I have/am having are "normal", and for that I am grateful.
Becoming a family
This book had great information about healthy attachments. The chapter "bringing your baby home" has lots of great information that I plan to use to help us educate our family and friends about what to expect when our little one comes home. The author shares important information about the need for your child to be physically attached to you for the first while to help to promote healthy attachment.
The whole life adoption book
I'm only halfway through this book, but what I like is that it is full of practical ideas to help you through different situations with your child. It has some suggestions for educating family, friends, educators, and important people in your child's life. There is a summary at the end of each chapter as well as a list of questions for small groups (it would be nice to have a small group wouldn't it?!).
Labor of the heart
This book is another one - for the journey to adoption, It was one of my favorite books about working through the decisions to adopt and preparing to be a parent. At the end of each chapter, there is a section called "Adoptive Parents' Workbook" that encourages the parents to evaluate themselves based on the topic of the chapter.
So...there you have it...my two cents...what are your favorite adoption related books?
Attaching in Adoption
One of the main concerns I have about our adoption is about attaching with our little one. My husband read Deborah Gray's Attaching in Adoption before I did, and since he knows me so well, he recommended that I only read certain chapters that are more relevant to our current situation, so that I don't stress myself out needlessly. Attaching in Adoption is an important resource book for every adoptive family, and it will stay in our Adoption Library.
Conquering Infertility
I must admit that when our social worker first recommended a book about conquering your infertility, I was a little confused. We'll be married for ten years this year and after undergoing infertility treatments; being diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome; and taking time to grieve the loss of the biological child we will not have; I can honestly say that at the point in time when the social worker recommeded this book, I felt that I had dealt with my infertility. I got the book anyway and began reading it anyway, and it helped me to see that, I had dealt with the main issues related to my infertility, which was reassuring since we're now on a different path. It also helped me to understand why I had behaved and/or reacted in certain ways in certain instances/situations. Although I wish I had read this book while I was first dealing with infertility, I am glad to have read it and to know for sure that we are in the right place and on the right path now.
Secret thoughts of an adoptive mother
This is one of my favorite books! I admire Jana Wolff's humour, candor, and honesty! Reading her book is a little like reading a friend's diary, in it, she openly shares her thoughts and fears regarding her adoption. Although the paths to our children are different (she chose open domestic adoption), her concerns about being an adoptive parent really resonated with me. While reading this book, I slowly began to feel that the feelings, and thoughts I have/am having are "normal", and for that I am grateful.
Becoming a family
This book had great information about healthy attachments. The chapter "bringing your baby home" has lots of great information that I plan to use to help us educate our family and friends about what to expect when our little one comes home. The author shares important information about the need for your child to be physically attached to you for the first while to help to promote healthy attachment.
The whole life adoption book
I'm only halfway through this book, but what I like is that it is full of practical ideas to help you through different situations with your child. It has some suggestions for educating family, friends, educators, and important people in your child's life. There is a summary at the end of each chapter as well as a list of questions for small groups (it would be nice to have a small group wouldn't it?!).
Labor of the heart
This book is another one - for the journey to adoption, It was one of my favorite books about working through the decisions to adopt and preparing to be a parent. At the end of each chapter, there is a section called "Adoptive Parents' Workbook" that encourages the parents to evaluate themselves based on the topic of the chapter.
So...there you have it...my two cents...what are your favorite adoption related books?
Saturday, April 18, 2009
A little reading...
Books we're reading:
Attaching in Adoption - Deborah D. Gray
Conquering Infertility - Mind/body guide to enhancing fertility and coping with infertility - Alice D. Domar, Ph.D (this book was a suggestion by our social worker)
The whole life adoption book - Jayne E. Schooler & Thomas C. Atwood
Books we've read:
Becoming a Family - promoting healthy attachments with your adopted child - Lark Eshleman, Ph.D
Secret thoughts of an adoptive mother - Jana Wolff
Labor of the Heart - a parents guide to the decisions and emotions in adoption - Kathleen L. Whitten, Ph.D
Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew - Sherrie Eldridge
Attaching in Adoption - Deborah D. Gray
Conquering Infertility - Mind/body guide to enhancing fertility and coping with infertility - Alice D. Domar, Ph.D (this book was a suggestion by our social worker)
The whole life adoption book - Jayne E. Schooler & Thomas C. Atwood
Books we've read:
Becoming a Family - promoting healthy attachments with your adopted child - Lark Eshleman, Ph.D
Secret thoughts of an adoptive mother - Jana Wolff
Labor of the Heart - a parents guide to the decisions and emotions in adoption - Kathleen L. Whitten, Ph.D
Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew - Sherrie Eldridge
Friday, April 17, 2009
The Perfect Stroller?
We've begun our search for "The Perfect Stroller" however, I must admit that I wonder if it exists?
Eric is 6'2" while I am only 5'2"...usually if the stroller is comfortable for me to push...then Eric has to practically bend in two to push it, and if the stroller is comfortable for Eric then I feel like a little kid trying to push a shopping cart!
So far our favorite has been the Chicco Cortina Stroller. Our favorite feature is the adjustable handle! Can you believe it an a-d-j-u-s-t-a-b-l-e handle?! (watch the video here...yes...the website has videos on its website that show you how to operate the stroller!) We think the Chicco designers are geniuses! The price tag is a little too steep for us right now (we're trying to be thrifty)...so we've been doing a little "window" shopping...online...ebay...craig's list...US stores...sales...even the Chicco store in Manila! I am learning to be pretty patient when it comes to hunting for a good bargain - and since we won't really need the stroller for another year or so - we have some time! We'll keep researching and hopefully find a GREAT deal!
What's your idea of the perfect stroller?
Eric is 6'2" while I am only 5'2"...usually if the stroller is comfortable for me to push...then Eric has to practically bend in two to push it, and if the stroller is comfortable for Eric then I feel like a little kid trying to push a shopping cart!
So far our favorite has been the Chicco Cortina Stroller. Our favorite feature is the adjustable handle! Can you believe it an a-d-j-u-s-t-a-b-l-e handle?! (watch the video here...yes...the website has videos on its website that show you how to operate the stroller!) We think the Chicco designers are geniuses! The price tag is a little too steep for us right now (we're trying to be thrifty)...so we've been doing a little "window" shopping...online...ebay...craig's list...US stores...sales...even the Chicco store in Manila! I am learning to be pretty patient when it comes to hunting for a good bargain - and since we won't really need the stroller for another year or so - we have some time! We'll keep researching and hopefully find a GREAT deal!
What's your idea of the perfect stroller?
Monday, April 6, 2009
Five Months
Eric's belated bits... so five months since acceptance; 14 months since "officially" starting the proccess and like umpteen years since we decided together to go for kids...
And so here we are today: mortgage, backyard, dog and other overtly "western family" trappings... But I am realizing more and more that those things are not what will make our family a good family or succsessful by any sense of the word... The measure of our family greatness must clearly be - - - my superpowers...
- What you have superpowers ?? - Indeed I do, and the application of those to our family dynamics - dog walking, mowing the lawn and kid raising and wife caring will create an atmosphere of awesomeness unparalled in all modern suburbia.
Otherwise stuffs good
'till the next chicane
Eric
Another month closer to our little one!
Thankfully, time seems to be passing more quickly as the months go by. Looking back and realizing that it's been 14 months since we started the process makes me think that we'll have our little one in our arms before we know it!
And so here we are today: mortgage, backyard, dog and other overtly "western family" trappings... But I am realizing more and more that those things are not what will make our family a good family or succsessful by any sense of the word... The measure of our family greatness must clearly be - - - my superpowers...
- What you have superpowers ?? - Indeed I do, and the application of those to our family dynamics - dog walking, mowing the lawn and kid raising and wife caring will create an atmosphere of awesomeness unparalled in all modern suburbia.
Otherwise stuffs good
'till the next chicane
Eric
Another month closer to our little one!
Thankfully, time seems to be passing more quickly as the months go by. Looking back and realizing that it's been 14 months since we started the process makes me think that we'll have our little one in our arms before we know it!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The Little One's Room..in progress...Part 1
We have begun working on our Little One's room. Eric and I have had many discussions about how to decorate it. He wanted to paint a mural on all the walls in the room but I wanted a mural on only one wall (He's usually right about these things - he HAS chosen every paint color in our home!). He had tons of ideas and since I am a more visual person and was having a hard time envisioning his ideas, one night I had him draw on the walls with chalk and after living with the chalk drawings for months, we decided to bite the bullet and try to paint the mural on two walls in the room to see how we felt. After the trial paint job...the next morning, I began painting the first coat of the mural...on all the walls of the room! It took a couple of coats of paint on the bottom of the mural (that was the easy part). We had decided that the sky should have some "texture" and we chose to use two colors of blue paint and through trial and error; using many techniques; we finally have a beautiful blue sky. The next step is to paint the decorative elements...the clouds...the trees...the animals...the moose...and the hobbit hole...yes...I did say hobbit hole...Eric is a huge Lord of the Rings fan...so there will be a hobbit hole...
Here are some pictures of the room "in progress"...
Here are some pictures of the room "in progress"...
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Four Months
We're four months closer to our Little One!
The waiting is not easy, but we are finding ways to get through it. We are continuing to read about attachment and about the Philippines. I just finished reading "Becoming a family" by Lark Eshleman, Ph.D. It has some great info about bringing our Little One home, it gives some great pointers about what attachment should look and feel like as well as some information about our homecoming/attachment time that we'll be passing along to our families.
I have already begun making lists for our trip (things to bring, things to buy when we're there, and thanks to Rachel a list of questions to ask...). I have a journal that I have been keeping since August 2008. I have been writing letters to our Little One every now and again, this is also the same book where we have started to keep our lists of things not to forget...I love lists!
If it is possible to do so, we would like to vacation in the Philippines just before we adopt, so we are doing some research. We will have to be pretty organized to be able to pull it off, because we won't have much notice to travel, but it is something that we both want to do very much. So far we have talked to our resource person from our agency and she doesn't think there will be a problem, other than being willing to travel without much notice. We'll have to investigate this a little further once we actually receive our referral, but so far it doesn't seem impossible...so we're hopeful!
The waiting is not easy, but we are finding ways to get through it. We are continuing to read about attachment and about the Philippines. I just finished reading "Becoming a family" by Lark Eshleman, Ph.D. It has some great info about bringing our Little One home, it gives some great pointers about what attachment should look and feel like as well as some information about our homecoming/attachment time that we'll be passing along to our families.
I have already begun making lists for our trip (things to bring, things to buy when we're there, and thanks to Rachel a list of questions to ask...). I have a journal that I have been keeping since August 2008. I have been writing letters to our Little One every now and again, this is also the same book where we have started to keep our lists of things not to forget...I love lists!
If it is possible to do so, we would like to vacation in the Philippines just before we adopt, so we are doing some research. We will have to be pretty organized to be able to pull it off, because we won't have much notice to travel, but it is something that we both want to do very much. So far we have talked to our resource person from our agency and she doesn't think there will be a problem, other than being willing to travel without much notice. We'll have to investigate this a little further once we actually receive our referral, but so far it doesn't seem impossible...so we're hopeful!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Encouraged!
I just finished reading about this family's adoption journey. I am so encouraged. I love the honesty, and the raw emotions that were shared. Even though I don't know this family, I found myself laughing and crying and sighing with joy and frustration at the process. Thanks so much for sharing your blog. I am so glad that I stumbled upon it! I especially love your "Tips for adoption travels".
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about our adoption and about our little one coming home to us! I try not to think in terms of time frames, because I think that will make me crazy (some might say crazier :) ). Lately I have been focusing on decorating the little one's room; painting the mural and finding the right fabric for the bedding. It helps me deal with the wait when I have a project that I am actively working on.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about our adoption and about our little one coming home to us! I try not to think in terms of time frames, because I think that will make me crazy (some might say crazier :) ). Lately I have been focusing on decorating the little one's room; painting the mural and finding the right fabric for the bedding. It helps me deal with the wait when I have a project that I am actively working on.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Three Months
So we've passed the three month mark...the wait has gotten somewhat easier since the holidays have passed. We are able to see that the end of our adoption journey is near.
This month, we finished painting the stairway to the basement - What a difference some paint and lighting makes! We still have some work to do on the little one's room, but we cannot agree on the paint scheme. Eric wants us to paint a mural on all the walls, where I want to paint a mural on only one wall. I think we are going to try painting two walls and see how it feels. We have quite a bit of work to do in that room, so we'll have to start working on it soon.
This month, we have been talking a lot about names for our little one. We are not going to be sharing our choice until after we receive our proposal, and maybe not until we meet our little one. It is interesting to hear our family member's suggestions and to play around with different names. Eric has a bunch of boy names that he would like, but I'm not yet convinced. In the event that we are proposed a girl, we have chosen a girl name that we agree on.
This month, we finished painting the stairway to the basement - What a difference some paint and lighting makes! We still have some work to do on the little one's room, but we cannot agree on the paint scheme. Eric wants us to paint a mural on all the walls, where I want to paint a mural on only one wall. I think we are going to try painting two walls and see how it feels. We have quite a bit of work to do in that room, so we'll have to start working on it soon.
This month, we have been talking a lot about names for our little one. We are not going to be sharing our choice until after we receive our proposal, and maybe not until we meet our little one. It is interesting to hear our family member's suggestions and to play around with different names. Eric has a bunch of boy names that he would like, but I'm not yet convinced. In the event that we are proposed a girl, we have chosen a girl name that we agree on.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Two months
This Christmas season was somewhat difficult; its been two months of officially waiting to adopt, and all Christmas events and happenings are seen through that filter. And there were two family members who were missing this year, one who passed away and one who is working halfway around the world with MSF.
Our house is in need of some renovations before the little one arrives. We began doing some of the reno work this month. We sanded, and primed the stairway leading to our unfinished basement. We had not painted the stairway when we moved into the house (three years ago) so who knows how long it has been since that stairway was painted... The walls are now ready to be painted, what a difference some plaster and primer makes! During our wait we are planning to tackle as much of the basement as we can.
We also have some work to do in the little one's room which we will be getting to...the "Moose themed" room has just about all the moose items that it will need (or can fit), so next we will be working on painting/decorating the walls.
Tammy has realized that once we adopt, when Eric comes home from work the ordinarily calm house will turn into a mad house with Eric, Hobbes and the little one running, jumping and wrestling until, during and after supper until she has had enough and she cries "that's enough, you need to calm down!" That is what happens now so we can only imagine what adding a little one into the mix will do.
Our house is in need of some renovations before the little one arrives. We began doing some of the reno work this month. We sanded, and primed the stairway leading to our unfinished basement. We had not painted the stairway when we moved into the house (three years ago) so who knows how long it has been since that stairway was painted... The walls are now ready to be painted, what a difference some plaster and primer makes! During our wait we are planning to tackle as much of the basement as we can.
We also have some work to do in the little one's room which we will be getting to...the "Moose themed" room has just about all the moose items that it will need (or can fit), so next we will be working on painting/decorating the walls.
Tammy has realized that once we adopt, when Eric comes home from work the ordinarily calm house will turn into a mad house with Eric, Hobbes and the little one running, jumping and wrestling until, during and after supper until she has had enough and she cries "that's enough, you need to calm down!" That is what happens now so we can only imagine what adding a little one into the mix will do.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Gram-Gram's Moose
My mom used to make us crocheted stuffed animals when we were kids...I still have this one...
When thinking that we were going to have a child, one thing was sure, I wanted my mom to crochet a stuffed animal for them. So, we decided on a theme...moose...for a boy or a girl...it will be moose...so I commissioned my mom. I asked if she could make me a stuffed moose for our baby. We looked everywhere for a pattern, but we could not find one, but that didn't matter to my mom, she created one!
She used a teddy bear pattern, a pattern we purchased from here on Etsy, and her own creation. I absolutely love him! I think he turned out great! He's sitting in the highchair waiting for our little one. Thanks Gram-Gram! He will be well loved!
Friday, December 5, 2008
The beginning
How our journey began
I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrom (PCOS) when I was sixteen. I knew then that getting pregnant and giving birth to biological children would be difficult if not impossible for me. So before getting married, Eric and I discussed adoption as an option for creating our family. We did try to conceive naturally, and with the use of fertility drugs, but in the end, we were not able to conceive. After researching other infertility treatments we did not feel comfortable with the "success rates", so we started considering adoption and foster care. The two years that we spent trying to conceive took a toll on us and we decided that we needed to take a break from trying to conceive and just focus on us.
Foster Care or Adoption
We researched foster care first and were not comfortable with it because the laws in Quebec tend to be in favor of returning children to their biological parents/family. We knew that it would be too difficult for us to finally have a child and then lose them so we knew that foster care was not the way to go for us (at least for our first child). We then began researching international adoption (because we live in Quebec, all adoptions that are not through foster care are considered international adoptions). Around this same time, Eric's aunt adopted two girls from Haiti, after having one unsuccessful adoption in India. We were able to see first hand as his aunt adopted first one and then another how the adopted child could integrate into the family, community and country. Neither of the girls spoke French when they were adopted, however it was not long before they were able to communicate easily. We thought that we would adopt from Haiti too, we even attended an information session to help us to prepare. We were not quite ready to adopt then (around 2005), so we waited awhile, and then in December 2007, we realized that we were ready to adopt (knowing that the process takes between two and four years). Before announcing our decision to our families, we decided that we would research the country and actually register with an adoption agency before making it official with our family and friends. When we contacted the agency that Eric's aunt used, they informed us that we no longer met their criteria (we were not yet 35 and we had not been married for 10 years), we could not adopt from Haiti. We contacted another agency that facilitates adoptions from Haiti and were told the same thing. It was official, unless we wanted to wait another two years before beginning the process (and then wait for two to four years for the adoption to be finalized), we would not adopt from Haiti, we were saddened, by this news, but we decided that we would investigate other countries. Eric was doing most of the research for the countries, he contacted a bunch of agencies, asked all of the questions and then we discussed the information he collected. I was really happy that he took the lead on this part of the process, I was feeling discouraged and did not feel up to all the research. After much research, we realized that there was only one agency that was available for us, I must say that I was discouraged and was struggling with the decision of the agency. One day I was praying and asking God why the process seemed so difficult, and I was reminded that throughout the years, everytime I prayed about our adoption, I asked God to help us to find the child that he wanted us to have. I then felt comforted knowing that there was only one agency that was available for us. The choice was clear.
We were looking for an agency that would help us to adopt a healthy child, from an orphanage where the children would be well taken care of, where we could adopt within a reasonable amount of time, all while staying within our budget. Our agency meets all of that criteria. There was a moment where we were not sure about whether we would adopt from the Philippines or from China, but after attending information sessions and having all of our questions answered, we decided on the Philippines. We are both so excited to embark on the next chapter of our lives!
I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrom (PCOS) when I was sixteen. I knew then that getting pregnant and giving birth to biological children would be difficult if not impossible for me. So before getting married, Eric and I discussed adoption as an option for creating our family. We did try to conceive naturally, and with the use of fertility drugs, but in the end, we were not able to conceive. After researching other infertility treatments we did not feel comfortable with the "success rates", so we started considering adoption and foster care. The two years that we spent trying to conceive took a toll on us and we decided that we needed to take a break from trying to conceive and just focus on us.
Foster Care or Adoption
We researched foster care first and were not comfortable with it because the laws in Quebec tend to be in favor of returning children to their biological parents/family. We knew that it would be too difficult for us to finally have a child and then lose them so we knew that foster care was not the way to go for us (at least for our first child). We then began researching international adoption (because we live in Quebec, all adoptions that are not through foster care are considered international adoptions). Around this same time, Eric's aunt adopted two girls from Haiti, after having one unsuccessful adoption in India. We were able to see first hand as his aunt adopted first one and then another how the adopted child could integrate into the family, community and country. Neither of the girls spoke French when they were adopted, however it was not long before they were able to communicate easily. We thought that we would adopt from Haiti too, we even attended an information session to help us to prepare. We were not quite ready to adopt then (around 2005), so we waited awhile, and then in December 2007, we realized that we were ready to adopt (knowing that the process takes between two and four years). Before announcing our decision to our families, we decided that we would research the country and actually register with an adoption agency before making it official with our family and friends. When we contacted the agency that Eric's aunt used, they informed us that we no longer met their criteria (we were not yet 35 and we had not been married for 10 years), we could not adopt from Haiti. We contacted another agency that facilitates adoptions from Haiti and were told the same thing. It was official, unless we wanted to wait another two years before beginning the process (and then wait for two to four years for the adoption to be finalized), we would not adopt from Haiti, we were saddened, by this news, but we decided that we would investigate other countries. Eric was doing most of the research for the countries, he contacted a bunch of agencies, asked all of the questions and then we discussed the information he collected. I was really happy that he took the lead on this part of the process, I was feeling discouraged and did not feel up to all the research. After much research, we realized that there was only one agency that was available for us, I must say that I was discouraged and was struggling with the decision of the agency. One day I was praying and asking God why the process seemed so difficult, and I was reminded that throughout the years, everytime I prayed about our adoption, I asked God to help us to find the child that he wanted us to have. I then felt comforted knowing that there was only one agency that was available for us. The choice was clear.
We were looking for an agency that would help us to adopt a healthy child, from an orphanage where the children would be well taken care of, where we could adopt within a reasonable amount of time, all while staying within our budget. Our agency meets all of that criteria. There was a moment where we were not sure about whether we would adopt from the Philippines or from China, but after attending information sessions and having all of our questions answered, we decided on the Philippines. We are both so excited to embark on the next chapter of our lives!
The announcement
After deciding on a country and putting financing in place, all that was left to do was tell our families. We were each responsible for creating our announcement to each of our families.
Tammy's Family
We gave Tammy's Mom, brother and sister-in-law each a key chain, each key chain was identified (Grandma, Uncle Tim and Auntie Charleen). The key shows a penguin family of three. Each key chain was put in a box and they were all wrapped the same way. we gave them their presents after Tyler (5yrs) and Britney (2yrs) had gone to bed (we thought that they may be too young to understand, and wanted their parents to decide when they would be ready to hear of the adoption). There were more than a few tears of joy that were shed! I was surprised at how emotional I was, all I could squeak out was "We're adopting". It was so exciting to see them open their gifts and to tell them that we were officially (finally) on the path to adoption.
Eric's Family
Eric created a series of clues on cards and had one card for each family member. The clue cards were numbered and had a snapshot of the historical discovery of the Philippines by Magellan... It took them a while and some prompting - but after actually saying "We're adopting from the Philippines" they all got it... The best part was Eric's mom getting all nervous and acting out by sweeping the floor and cleaning the kitchen table (neither was dirty). So a D- for history and an A+ for cleanliness.
Tammy's Family
We gave Tammy's Mom, brother and sister-in-law each a key chain, each key chain was identified (Grandma, Uncle Tim and Auntie Charleen). The key shows a penguin family of three. Each key chain was put in a box and they were all wrapped the same way. we gave them their presents after Tyler (5yrs) and Britney (2yrs) had gone to bed (we thought that they may be too young to understand, and wanted their parents to decide when they would be ready to hear of the adoption). There were more than a few tears of joy that were shed! I was surprised at how emotional I was, all I could squeak out was "We're adopting". It was so exciting to see them open their gifts and to tell them that we were officially (finally) on the path to adoption.
Eric's Family
Eric created a series of clues on cards and had one card for each family member. The clue cards were numbered and had a snapshot of the historical discovery of the Philippines by Magellan... It took them a while and some prompting - but after actually saying "We're adopting from the Philippines" they all got it... The best part was Eric's mom getting all nervous and acting out by sweeping the floor and cleaning the kitchen table (neither was dirty). So a D- for history and an A+ for cleanliness.
One month
It's been one month since we heard the fab news that we were officially approved to adopt from the Philippines... and time has since moved forward like a dead sloth going uphill in a blizzard. So like we don't know if it's because we have been talking more about the adoption together and with others, but, wow...
We find ourselves daydreaming about being parents; about having a little furless monkey around and how that will change and challenge our family dynamics; about names for our child (like Van-Troy which is an awesome name); about our trip to the Philippines; about other adopting families and how they manage to deal with the wait.
and...the wait continues...
We find ourselves daydreaming about being parents; about having a little furless monkey around and how that will change and challenge our family dynamics; about names for our child (like Van-Troy which is an awesome name); about our trip to the Philippines; about other adopting families and how they manage to deal with the wait.
and...the wait continues...
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
ugh...this wait is going to be long!
Yesterday I read a post on the agency's adoption forum, there is a family who is leaving this weekend to go to the Philippines to pick up their child. They are so excited and are looking forward to spending their first Christmas with their child. I am happy for them, but at the same time, my heart aches thinking we will probably have at least two more Christmases until we spend our first Christmas with our child.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Opening up this blog...
I have been writing this blog on and off for the past little while, and although I am still nervous about sharing this information, I think it will be a good experience, and it will help us to record this process.
Happy reading...
Happy reading...
Officially approved
We received a call on November 4th at 9:00am to let us know that we were officially approved by ICAB (Inter Country Adoption Board)! Our moderator told us that we were approved in record time, usually it takes two to three months to be approved, but our file was received by ICAB on September 29, and approved on October 27!
What this means is that we will adopt from the Philippines. It is now just a matter of time (the estimated waiting period at this point is 18 to 24 months). The adoption agencies (orphanages) try to match each child with a family who will best meet their needs. We are praying that we will be matched soon! In the Philippines, all of the files are not necessarily processed in a chronological order.
We are very excited about this next step - it finally feels as though this is really happening - we have a timeline. I imagine that couples feel this way when they find out that they are pregnant...for us it just happens to be a two year gestation period! Which considering that we have been waiting for so long already, what's another two years!
Here is the text of the e-mail we received confirming our approval:
Objet : Adoption Application of Mr. Eric Jean and Mrs. Tammy Lea Seguin
Greetings of Peace!
This has reference to Mr. and Mrs. Seguin's adoption application received by this office on September 29, 2008.
We are pleased to inform you that the Inter-Country Adoption Board (ICAB) has approved the above adoption application on October 27, 2008. Mr. and Mrs. Seguin are now listed in our Roster of Approved Applicants. Your office will be duly advised as soon as the proper determination is made as to which child's needs will be best responded to by Mr. and Mrs. Seguin.
Very truly yours,
What this means is that we will adopt from the Philippines. It is now just a matter of time (the estimated waiting period at this point is 18 to 24 months). The adoption agencies (orphanages) try to match each child with a family who will best meet their needs. We are praying that we will be matched soon! In the Philippines, all of the files are not necessarily processed in a chronological order.
We are very excited about this next step - it finally feels as though this is really happening - we have a timeline. I imagine that couples feel this way when they find out that they are pregnant...for us it just happens to be a two year gestation period! Which considering that we have been waiting for so long already, what's another two years!
Here is the text of the e-mail we received confirming our approval:
Objet : Adoption Application of Mr. Eric Jean and Mrs. Tammy Lea Seguin
Greetings of Peace!
This has reference to Mr. and Mrs. Seguin's adoption application received by this office on September 29, 2008.
We are pleased to inform you that the Inter-Country Adoption Board (ICAB) has approved the above adoption application on October 27, 2008. Mr. and Mrs. Seguin are now listed in our Roster of Approved Applicants. Your office will be duly advised as soon as the proper determination is made as to which child's needs will be best responded to by Mr. and Mrs. Seguin.
Very truly yours,
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Update
We are now awaiting the official approval from the ICAB to officially approve us to adopt from the Philippines. Our file was finally completed and submitted to the Adoption Agency on September 17 and sent to the Philippines on September 26.
Going through this process has been somewhat trying. We wanted to have our file prepared in English to save the cost of translation, by the time they referred us to an English Social Worker, it was the beginning of summer and we had to juggle holidays and time off and meetings so it took a little longer for her to complete the Home Study report than expected. Then we met with the Psychologist, and it took about a month to complete the psychological report.
And now, finally our file is in the Philippines and we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We should receive confirmation from the ICAB by the end of this month and then we begin "the wait". We should be paired with a child in the next 18 to 24 months.
During the summer, Eric and I decided on a theme for the "baby's room". Although we liked the idea of the Alphabet, we decided instead that we will be using Moose as our main theme. We have purchased some moose stuffed animals and we are now discussing the paint schemes. Eric would like to have a mural on all four walls, but I am not yet convinced. We have drawn the mural on the wall in chalk, and we will try some different paint schemes and then we will see. I was originally thinking that it would be nice to have a mural on just one wall. What also makes the decorating difficult is that we don't know if we will be adopting a girl or a boy. Please feel free to weigh in here with your comments and suggestions about the baby's room.
Here is a wall mounted moose that we are considering for the baby's room (from cuddleworks.com):
Going through this process has been somewhat trying. We wanted to have our file prepared in English to save the cost of translation, by the time they referred us to an English Social Worker, it was the beginning of summer and we had to juggle holidays and time off and meetings so it took a little longer for her to complete the Home Study report than expected. Then we met with the Psychologist, and it took about a month to complete the psychological report.
And now, finally our file is in the Philippines and we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We should receive confirmation from the ICAB by the end of this month and then we begin "the wait". We should be paired with a child in the next 18 to 24 months.
During the summer, Eric and I decided on a theme for the "baby's room". Although we liked the idea of the Alphabet, we decided instead that we will be using Moose as our main theme. We have purchased some moose stuffed animals and we are now discussing the paint schemes. Eric would like to have a mural on all four walls, but I am not yet convinced. We have drawn the mural on the wall in chalk, and we will try some different paint schemes and then we will see. I was originally thinking that it would be nice to have a mural on just one wall. What also makes the decorating difficult is that we don't know if we will be adopting a girl or a boy. Please feel free to weigh in here with your comments and suggestions about the baby's room.
Here is a wall mounted moose that we are considering for the baby's room (from cuddleworks.com):
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Our First Purchase...
Tonight, we made our first purchase for the Baby.
Eric and I have always wanted to decorate the baby's room with alphabet letters. A couple of weeks ago, at Indigo, I saw these giant "flashcard" type of cards that were really colorful and fun. I did not want to buy them then though, because I thought that it was a decision we should make together.
We had a date-night tonight, and after dinner, we walked over to Indigo. I showed Eric the cards and he liked them too. As an added bonus - they were 50% off!
One month into the process...
It is hard to believe that it has been just over one month since we officially decided to adopt from the Philippines. In some ways, it seems like we have beeen filling out paperwork forever and a day, and in others, it seems like it was only yesterday.
We have completed the paperwork for the DPJ (youth protection). They are now checking our references.
Once the references are received by the DPJ, they will contact us to schedule the Home Study and Psycho-Social Evaluations.
We have almost completed the paperwork for the Agency (Formons une Famille), but it will only be truly complete when the Home Study and Psycho-Social Evaluations are complete.
It still doesn't seem real...
We have completed the paperwork for the DPJ (youth protection). They are now checking our references.
Once the references are received by the DPJ, they will contact us to schedule the Home Study and Psycho-Social Evaluations.
We have almost completed the paperwork for the Agency (Formons une Famille), but it will only be truly complete when the Home Study and Psycho-Social Evaluations are complete.
It still doesn't seem real...
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